Why is America obsessed with poop?*

You guys remember that '2 girls, 1 cup' video from a few years back right? Well here is the story of my viewing it. I had heard about it on the local radio show and they were planning this big event in which two of the morning show radio personalities were going to watch the video and they were going to videotape their responses. And there was a tidal wave of people calling in talking about how the radio personalities were going to flip and wouldn't be able to handle it. I promptly went home that afternoon and said to roomie 'There is this video on the internet that we need to watch. You queue it up and I'll be back in a few minutes and we'll watch it.' (This was back in the days of DSL so it took a minute.) I'm sitting on the couch catching up on the OC or something else soap-opera-y and my roommate walks into the living room and says to me: 'You cannot handle this.'

Do you know why I cannot handle it? BECAUSE apparently I am the only person left in the continental 48 that gags at the site of poop. I don't really think this is even an odd reaction. Poop is gross. Really gross. Thinking about it makes me want to pass out. I'm not really sure what in the hell I'm going to do when I do manage squirt life out of my vertical smile because I will not be able to change its diapers. Heaven forbid we go hippy dippy and do cloth diapers because I really may just roll over and die. Have I mentioned that poop is really, really gross?

Did you happen tonight's episode of Tosh.O by chance? Seriously, can he please make an episode without poop? PLEASE. I literally screamed at the top of my lungs tonight. Literally. A long, blood curdling scream. (And the sad part is no one came running. whomp whomp. Thanks for that Sex-on-Skates, I could have been being murdered.) I walk in the door after being gone all day and all evening and roomie says to me: 'I kept Tosh.O for you on the DVR. I think he meant this episode specifically for you.'

AND FOR SOME DUMB ASS REASON I WENT IN THE DAMN LIVING ROOM AND WATCHED HUMAN PEOPLE FETCH TURDS OUT OF THE TOILET AND SQUEEZE THEM ON A TV SHOW ON CABLE.

And then I yakked for 10 minutes.

Back to the '2 girls, 1 cup' video story: I proceed to argue with roomie for a few minutes about my hard-cor-edness and insist on watching the video. He finally agrees for what reason I assume is to shut me up. I made it about 7.2 seconds into the video and passed the fuck out. Just passed the fuck right on out. My brain simply could not take it.

I wake up to roomie cackling and we learn the real reason why he agreed to let me watch the video, because he thinks it's funny when I spaz about shit.

*Please ignore the fact that I have 2 different posts dedicated to diarrhea. They're really more so dedicated to cocaine and its causal effects. It's more of a scientific thing with me and at least I'm not actually showing you diarrhea. Hold on, I have to go puke again.

...

Anyways, cut me some slack. Shit is gross.

**I'm not sure why blogger is being douchy and not letting people post. Obvi it hates me. If I was a better person I'd go digging through the code of the blog and figure it out but I'm not there yet.