Friday, September 17, 2010

A lesson in Dichotomy from Muddy the Mudskipper

In my freshman English honors class (I know, I know, I was smart once. Seriously.) there was this guy Andy. Andy had two aggravating characteristics. One being that he looked exactly like Muddy the Mudskipper from the Ren & Stimpy show. It's really hard to think about Emily Dickinson when 'Don't Whiz on the Electric Fence' is on repeat in your head. The second aggravating thing about Andy was that his favorite word was dichotomy. Everything was dichotomous. Or characters exemplified a dichotomous nature. Dichotomy, dichotomy, dichotomy. It took me three fourths of a semester to actually look it up because I refused to on a matter of principle, but one day he actually did get a 'That's a good point Andy' from the professor so I thought it might help. Needless to say his usage only escalated from there and we were all tremendously fucking grateful there was only a quarter of a semester left.

Anyways, I'm in a very punchy mood today. Mostly because I've had the Golgothan touch this week but that's beside the point. I was talking to a friend of mine about the imminent street festival downtown and he was aking if I was going and I believe I said something like 'Hell No. I moved downtown to get away from the degenerates of this town; I do not relish spending an entire day in their presence. I spend enough of my spare time at the bus station to satiate my thirst for the masses.' Then I just went ahead and saddled the high horse and rode it for all it was worth.

Then I realized that 'Fucking Muddy' was right!

People are extremely dichotomous. (Or at least I am.) Maybe he was onto something or maybe he was ahead of his time and realized something about the nature of people that our young minds weren't able to fathom yet. That as freshmen in college we were so convinced of the constancy of our nature that the idea of any kind of duality in our person was unheard of. We hadn't yet failed at anything and our faith wasn't tested and our experiences went without grounding.

Then again, he may just be a stupid mudskipping fuck and I may just be crazy.


  1. "Then again, he may just be a stupid mudskipping fuck and I may just be crazy."

    Pure poetry. ;)

  2. "Stupid Mudskipping Fuck" is going to be my prfane howl of choice this week when I am inevitably confronted with stupidity.

  3. Sometimes I come through for you. Sometimes. (: