An unreasonable request.

I have an unreasonable request. First the back story.

Swimmy stuff indicative of a flashback-type thing. dooo doo doooo

(Yes, that is the proper onomatopoeia for flashbacking.)

Today I gave blood at work, because for some reason I feel compelled to be impaled (See what I did there? It's coming back to me! or maybe not. The ability to actually write, coherently.) by some angry nurse type person. Seriously? Are they real nurses? I should check next time.

Overall it went pretty well except my appointment to have my blood drawn was at 3:15 and I was walking out of the room where the blood drive was held at 5 PM. Yes, I was there for an hour and 45 minutes.

You may think that my unreasonable request relate to the fact that the Red Cross lackeys do not know the difference between an appointment and a walk-in. We've moved on past that anger.

Now, we, or I, am angry at the people whose genetic identity I share. Later this evening I went to the local homeless shelter to volunteer like I always do every other Tuesday and while I was there I became extremely light-headed and had to lay down in the counselor's office to keep from passing out.

Fast-forward to speaking via telephone with my mother whose current complaint is that her mouth is dry. Here is our conversation:

Mom: You know Anna, I'm not sure what I've taken but my mouth is so dry. I had to drink water ALL DAY LONG.
Me: You're supposed to do that Mom. You have one kidney and it only limps along.
Mom: Yes, but I had to drink water ALL DAY LONG. ALL DAY Anna.
Me: Well I almost passed out at the shelter tonight.
Mom: I don't understand why my mouth is so dry. I'm only taking one diuretic so that my kidney doesn't hold the water it collects. Why is my mouth so dry Anna?
Me: I don't know, you probably need to drink more water. By the way, I kind of passed out this evening.
Mom: I do drink a lot of water. It's all I do. The doctor told me I needed to drink lots of water. So I do.
Me: If you drank the right amount of water your mouth wouldn't be dry. I almost died tonight Mom.
Mom: I'm telling you Anna, that isn't it. I drink plenty of water. We need to investigate why my mouth is so dry.
Me: I am currently dead. I'm speaking to you from beyond the veil of existence.
Mom: And another thing, I've got this odd rash that I think could be from these antibiotics I'm taking. Do you think?
Me: Seriously Mom, I'm dead. D.E.A.D. Dead.
Mom: Hmmm, maybe not though. I was outside in the yard today with the dog. You know, the dog is awfully thirsty these days too. Maybe her mouth is dry too? I wonder if that's related to my mouth being dry?
Me: I'm also pregnant. By a gimpy, hobbly circus clown. We're moving to Guadalajara to run away and join the circus. We're gonna put a pumpkin on the baby's head and call it 'Pumpkin-Head' and have it in the sideshow. That baby is going to make us rich.
Mom: I guess it could be the change in the weather. You think?
Me: Sigh. Yes mother, I suppose it could be the change in the weather. Or maybe you just don't drink enough water.

Do you see that? Do you see that she is no longer my parent? Shit, she longer even listens to me; I am not required for conversation between the two of us, any warm body would suffice really.

For once I would like my parents to put themselves aside and do some actual parenting. Not for the rest of their lives or anything but if they could just take 10 minutes out of their busy self-absorbed schedule to say 'Gee, Anna. Are you alright? Do you feel okay now? Don't put a pumpkin on the baby's head. We'll love it no matter what.'

But I guess that is the true unreasonable request.