If you read this blog (I often wonder who actually reads it. I get exactly zero spam which makes me believe no one bothers to read it. Even spammers. Or I was brilliant in picking such a long, long blog URL. We'll go with the second one.) you're already familiar with the idea that I'm easily obsessable. Meaning I obsess over things quite easily. Or that I am easy to obsess about; I don't want to toot my own horn but hey, toot-toot. What I really mean is that I clearly have too much free time on my hands so I need something to obsess about so I don't get bored.
For a while it was the fact that I'm single. I've moved on from that. Now I'm obsessed with my body, it's image and my weight. And maybe the vulva puppet. But that's because I want to take it places and photograph it making people uncomfortable as possible. For some reason this amuses me to no end.
As you may or may not know I go to the gym quite regularly. I go to spin class at least 4 times a week although most weeks I attend 6 classes. And do you know where it's gotten me? Nowhere.
I guess you could make the point that you don't go anywhere on a stationary bike and I couldn't argue with you.
My point is this. Since I started attending spin class regularly last spring I've lost about 8 pounds.
I know that 8 pounds is a good bit of weight but I need to lose 4 or 5 times that much and I don't especially want to wait another 4 years to do it. I've started this new diet because according to my personal trainer (Yes, I have one. I told you I was obsessed.) I don't get enough protein. Now I have protein shakes and eat almonds by the handful. Veggie burgers and hummus, eaten regularly. Broccoli, brussel sprouts, green beans and squash, again and again on them I continue to gnash. I haven't had a grain that wasn't whole grain in at least a week. I haven't had mayonnaise in 2. I HAVE NOT had mayonnaise in 2 WEEKS. 2 WEEKS. (This may not seem odd to you but it's a miracle I'm still alive and kicking. I live for mayonnaise. I love mayonnaise so much that I don't even have to look up how to spell it. That is how much I love mayonnaise.) I fantasized about biscuits earlier this evening. Biscuits. Saying the word causes me pain and agony.
So tonight at the gym I weighed myself. Yes, I've gained almost 2 pounds.
I hate my new diet.
From what little I understand about the delicate system that is the female body, I believe that your metabolism is incredibly adaptable, meaning that it's used to your 6 x a week Spin Classes. Once your metabolism is used to something, it's not going to respond with weight loss. My advice would be to mix up your Spin class with some cardio or weights and vary your weekly amount of time at the gym (i.e. go a lot one week, only a couple of times the next). Just a thought.
ReplyDeleteMy metabolism is used to me laying around the house eating taquitos and playing Donkey Kong. I picture my metabolism laughing at my like Jabba the Hut. So don't feel bad.
'Bring me Han Solo'
ReplyDeleteSnort. :)
Exactly. Just replace "Han Solo" with "Crunchwrap Supreme" and you have my typical Thursday night.
ReplyDeleteDude. I could totally sign on to that.
ReplyDelete