Sunday, January 2, 2011

My New Year's Non-Resolutions/Decisions/General Ideas and Inclinations

I haven't posted as often recently due to the fact that I've been super busy and I feel I've written myself into the corner. I now feel that whatever I post has to be fan-fucking-tastic before it reaches the interwebs via my blog and I just don't have that many good ideas. So here is the token list of the things I want to do in the New Year:

1. I'm working 'mother-fucker' into my everyday lexicon. I'm kind of in love with it right now and I feel it's under-represented by my cultural/social strata.

2. I'm trying to clean up my language.

3. I would like my life to follow a less contradictory nature. That would probably clear up a lot of stress.

4. I will finally confront my fear of postal workers and go to the post office to get a passport. See below.

5. An extended vacation to a foreign land will occur. It will be a tropical land where all the cabana boys are named Hector and the national past-time is drinking Mai-Tai's and dancing 'til dawn.

6. I am going to keep my room clean. Shut up. I know, I'm not 12 but I am lazy.

7. I would work on being lazy but that's somewhat difficult as that would require me to not be lazy which we've already established I am by the fact that I need to work on it which essentially proves that being un-lazy is mathematically impossible.

8. I don't have anything to go here, I'm just trying to fill up some space because it's stupid to have a list of 9 things. If this were a conversation this would be the semi-awkward pause. Yup, still pausing. Just a little longer. How was your holiday season? Good, good. We're almost done pausing awkwardly. Awesome, we're done. Way to hang in there.

9. I will read more books with pictures. For no reason really, I just like books with pictures and for that matter I'd like to read more in general. More recent adult fiction instead of old stodgy dead authors. I'm starting to lag behind on Jeopardy.

10. Lastly I'd like to be more compassionate. I'm going to make a concerted effort to talk less smack about people and be more supportive of my friends and family. I'm fully convinced that it will reap only good things for me.

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