Bruno Mars: Superstar?

Bruno Mars has an amazing cadre of work. His hit song 'Grenade' (A song about a girl that he doesn't seem to like because she kept her eyes open when he kissed her. Although if you think about it, how the fuck did he know her eyes were open? Oh, maybe because his eyes were open too? Does this song make any sense what-so-ever? Is what-so-ever even a word? Anyways he's all butt-hurt she is keeping her eyes open and won't die for him or what not, but who can blame the chick. You can't trust people who look to see if your eyes are open when you kiss. It's just not right. Plus if he is as whiny in actual life as he is in the song I'd cut his brake lines too.) is followed closely by a new song called 'The Lazy Song.'

Don't quote me on that, as that may or may not be the actual title of the song but give me a freaking break. This is not Sesame Street; I do not need a song directing me how to spend a lazy day. We've already been subjected to Rebecca Black's song where she reminds us which day of the week it is so we can put on the right underwear. Can't we get an adult themed song with violence (N.W.A.'s 'Fuck the Po-lice') or gratuitious sexual entendres (The Who's 'Squeezebox')? Is it too much to ask that grown-up's make grown-up music? Or at least that my radio station play non-douchey music?

That being said, be sure and keep on the lookout for his next hit reminding you to eat your vegetables with 'Asparagus (Your pee smells funny)' and his upcoming duet with Ms. Black reminding us that they're not just for light flow days, 'Pantiliners.'

Let me know when your testicles drop Bruno.