Eight Dollar Karma

First some housekeeping: I apologize for being a bad blogger lately. I haven't been keeping up with everyone's blog including my own because I'm busy (Read: Lazy.) and have lots of random shit (Read: Buy shit to go to England.) to do before the summer comes. I apologize. I promise I'll do better soon (Read: Probably.) and catch up with all my favorite blogs and post more on my own blog. Because I'm presumptuous and assume you care.

Secondly, yay we killed Osama.

Also, yay Kate and Wills got married. Actually, sigh, Kate and Wills got married. I was totally holding out for a last minute proclamation of love. From Wills, not Kate.

Enough current events. Now to the story.

Last Friday was kind of a bummer of a day. Some dramatic shit happened at work but I decided to roll with that and I left a bit early to go get some necessaries for my upcoming pilgrimage across the sea to the mother country. (Actually, this week Mom swears we're of Inuit descent, yup we're Eskimos, so that may not be an accurate statement. But as Alaska is in the US now I guess that makes this trip an act of defection? Who knows?)

What a fortuitous trip it was! I bought a super cute dress on sale and a pair of shoes to match that were three times the amount of the dress because that is the way, I roll.

Cut to Macy's. My bff and I are standing in the luggage section and I'm pretending to stroll through the airport with my super cute tote and matching suitcase with the fun, jaunty London Fog pattern and I decide to buy said pieces. Sales girl waves us over to the counter to complete my purchase.

Enter crotchety old lady buying gifts on the registry who totally breaks in line in front of me. Seriously, for an old woman she was quick. So, sales girl deals with her and whilst dealing with her I happen to look down at the ground beside her feet and what do I see?

I see a wad of rolled up money. I look up, make eye contact with my bff and open my mouth to say something to crotchety old lady and yet, I am stopped by something. I stand there gazing at my bff for a millisecond or two, mouth agape, and do I ever mention the money at her feet? No. I quickly shut my mouth, smile at bff and then turn to discuss the hideous Mikasa china patterns. All the while trying desperately not to crack up. Crotchety old lady leaves. I walk up to the counter, place my foot over the money, drop my purse on the floor, bend over to grab wallet out of purse, take advantage and snag the wad of moola out from under my foot. Total prize: $8.

I know what you're thinking: 'Anna Gray, you totally scammed an old woman out of eight dollars.' Maybe I did. But take into account that she technically broke in line in front of me and also that I don't know that the money wasn't there before her so it may not have even been hers. Plus I was really, really thirsty. That eight dollars bought me a soda and a bottle of water for the bff with enough left over to buy a cheeseburger later. I tried to give bff half of it but she wasn't accepting the 'blood money.' I figured it was the least I could do since she was an accomplice to the seizure of assets. It would have been rude of me to not offer.

Turns out she's going to let me work off the $8 of karma on my own. I even mentioned that she could have the $4 and I work off the $8 of karma all on my own. No dice, she wasn't having it.

How many dollars of good karma do you figure moving a beetle off the sidewalk will get me? I need more bugs in compromising places.