Vap-O-Rub'in Good Time

Apparently the man who invented Vick's Vap-O-Rub is from Greensboro, NC. I read that on a sign the other day in downtown Greensboro. It's nice to have a general direction and embodiment of the man whom I'm to thank for the greasy nastiness currently residing on my chest.

I remember being a wee child and getting sick and my mother slathering the Vap-O-Rub on me. I always had these polyester pajamas that would just stick to the stuff and it just made me feel even ickier. At the time I'd also have a fever which would break in the night so by the time I awoke in the morning I was drenched in sweat, in pajamas that were literally stuck to me because I was hot enough to melt the Vap-O-Rub which then mixed with my sweat and proceeded to migrate everywhere so that my entire bed smelled of cedar trees and juniper bushes.

It's still gross, now I just realize the futility of the situation. If I want to sleep in a horizontal position I've got to slather it on. Otherwise I'll have to lean against the wall with a pillow which doesn't especially work too well to sleep. I've tried.

Le sigh.

Here I am. Covered in Vick's Vap-O-Rub. It's on my chest, on my upper lip, and actually in my nose somewhat. I will sleep tonight, I will. Plus this way if some handsome man breaks into my bedroom to woo me, I'll already be greased up and ready to go.

Hopefully he won't mind the smell.