Anyways, what's-his-face's boyfriend Keith runs away on business and dude is all sad and stuff because his boo left and is totally having a bad day. He then pulls over to pick up a seemingly nice guy who needs a ride. Dude ends up being kidnapped and forced to do crack with this cray-cray white kid who seemed nice but is a total crackpot, literally.
Then Michael C Hall gets diarrhea and crazy white kid says something along the lines of 'Yeah, crack does that.'
This may come as a surprise to you but I've never done crack-cocaine so I cannot personally verify the validity of this statement. I tried googling 'Does crack give you diarrhea?' and all I really got were websites about drug addiction, blah, blah, blah, and no real answers to my inquiry. (Granted I had googled 'Is Bev Purdue related to chickens?' right before so it could be possible that I broke the Google. In case you were wondering, she isn't.) I did the next best thing. I texted my mom.
She was a teenager in the 60's. There isn't a whole lot she doesn't know at least a little bit about. Her reponse to my inquiry was this: 'I suppose it depends on what they cut it with. Why? Do you have diarrhea? Please tell me you aren't doing crack Anna.'
I should have been thinking ahead because now I'll spend the next 3 weeks convincing my mother that I am indeed not a crackhead. One of my high school best friend's nickname was Crackhead (God only knows why?) and I was questioned heavily on several occasions if she was indeed an actual crackhead addicted to crack. She wasn't. We were just assholes I guess. But the point is that now I need to convince my mom that I was really just trying to be a smart ass and that my sudden avoidances of her calls are just because I'm busy or that I don't need to talk to my mom 6 times a day and not because I'm blitzed out of my mind on crack-cocaine. Any suggestions as to how I could do this would be helpful.
And if you know the answer to this question I'd really appreciate it if you could fill me in. Only because I'm curious about these sorts of things.
I put "does crack give you diarrhea" in Google and found this- "Cocaine can cause massive trauma to the body, including nausea, diarrhea, damage to the liver, hepatitis, stroke, heart attack, seizures, respiratory failure, convulsions and death."
ReplyDeleteYour blog is listed as the next two entries that come up.
maybe a another sound reason not to take cocaine, Charlie Sheen is the other - I guess every time you have a yearly you will now think of the Blair Witch Project, which is sort of bizarre.
ReplyDelete"Depends on what you cut it with"?! Wow, Mom of the year, thy name is Anna'sMom.
ReplyDeleteI am not sure what it does to you, but I do know it gives you an urge to rob a liquor store to get more money for it.
ReplyDelete@ George: THIS IS JUST WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED. I'd been beginning to think that I wasn't pulling the crackhead crowd in but now I've proven that people who google questions about crack are driven to my blog! :D But thanks for looking into the answer.
ReplyDelete@ David: Yes, this is a good reason not to do crack. I'll post a story about that certain visit later. You've inspired me!
@ Sass: My mom is the most awesomest Mom in the world. Plus she's always felt that the truth is better than some vague parental half-truth. It definitely has it's advantages.
@ Trash: Dude! The one website I actually clicked on after my google search totally mentioned that it gave people the inclination to steal to afford their crack! It did not however, specifically mention liquor stores. I'll send them a note an update them.
Hilarious, I googled "crack diarrhea" because of an episode of American Dad, and, that is exactly why I am here.
ReplyDeletei googled it because i smoked crack last night and i have diarrhea. alot of coke is cut with baby laxative, heh. apparently its the perfect consistency.
ReplyDeleteyou guys should spend less time watching lame tv shows, and more time on the streets being hardcore, and then posting about it anonymously on the internet.
Hi Rod! Awesome. I'm honestly glad to know I've successfully outsmarted Seth McFarlane! That is something I have to put on a resume.
ReplyDeleteit makes me feel so much better that i wasn't the only person inclined to google "crack diarrhea" after watching that episode of six feet under. nice blog!
ReplyDeletep.s. your mom is the shit
hahaha a. Yeah totally, I really wanted to know and apparently doing crack does indeed give you diarrhea. Another random fact gained! YEEEEEES! (All thanks to this anonymous person.) But thanks for the kind words about the blog and my mom. She is the shit though.
ReplyDeleteHa! Watching the same episode, googled the same thing, your blog came up. @Jennifer and I are on the same page.
ReplyDeleteHaha! Great. I'm always over-joyed to know that the majority of my search engine traffic comes from Crack. Thanks for commenting though!
ReplyDeletereally yall,
ReplyDeletethey cut coke with mannitol a baby laxative. That could make ya squirt. Real pure coke/crack will make you cum instantly. It is the greatest feeling you will ever have in your life..other than heroin. There is a reason this shit is addictive...it really is good. Unfortunately the cops have made it so hard to make a living most junk is cut to shit. Find someone that gets pure stuff for your first adventure dont waste the first on some shit. Get pure MDMA and the hottest chick/dude and bone for five hours. You will never be a republican again...cheerio
OMFG! This all made me laugh, point of this message is to thank you for the laugh $
ReplyDeleteI am addicted to Crack Cocaine. My advice to you is to never even try it. I dont know what kind of person thinks it is ok to introduce another human being to it. One of the symptoms of being addicted to it. Is what I only describe as an anticipation so great that your bowels just explode with pain when you are waiting for it and have to run to the bathroom where your body empties itself. Even just the sight of Money will do this to an addict. It is horrible and i am not sure that all crack addicts suffer with this.I have seen other people get the yawns. It is very strange, disgusting and embarrassing. I am gonna start counseling this April. Hope I can kick this.
ReplyDeleteI googled it because I smoked crack last night and I got severe diarrhea. I wanted to check if it was a side effect. And by the way, its not necessarily because you smoke crack that you are a thief or want to rob a liquor store. I tried crack the first time about 20 years ago and since then I've only been doing it casually, once or twice per month.
ReplyDeleteYour probably the only one that smokes Crack occasionally LOL.. Also, All you have to do is watch BumFights if you want to see Crack smoking and Diarrhea. The Bums smoke Crack then relieve their bowels right on the street in front of everyone and man was it all squirty and runny. Watch at your own descretion.
Deleteonly time i ever get diarrhea from crack is when i havent done it in a while and i know im going to go buy some. My body gets really excited, even if iam not actually excited to take it. Thas what causes mine. But its not runny for me lol, its more like im emptying out my system .. completley
ReplyDeletehey louis, thats the way crack works mate, nt everyone turns in to a starke raving mad crackhead overnight. For some its a gradual process, as the crack slowly erodes down your defenses. I can personally gauantee you, if you keep doing it, it will take alot away from you. Nit everyone turns to robbing stores, mots just steal from their families or con people. One day it will happen when you feel like crack and you have no momey and you go ahed and help yourself to your friends/failiy/work till money. Thats when the real trouble starts.
ReplyDeleteI know I can answer with a certain yes that either smoking crack or using cocaine (either Iv use or snorting ) can cause you to have diarrhea unfortunately. I love cocaine and unfortunately I shoot it terrible I know. But because most of the cocaine is cut with baby laxatives. But for me I can go days without eating even tho my stomach tells me I'm hungry my brain tells me not to so I just drink a lot of water instead. So the combo of the two being lots of water for days and the cut in the cocaine will in fact give myself diarrhea for several days until I eat again. Just wanted to share that
ReplyDelete