Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Faking It Until I Make It

Lately, I've been in a shit mood. Or so I'm told. I cannot refute or deny this fact as my modus operandi is generally a nasty, cynical, sarcastic, sour outlook on life. But don't get me wrong, I consider myself a realistic person. My evaluative powers are on point, I just suck at life. Duh.

For example, have I cured cancer? Rid the world of malaria and polio? Saved the tigers from being hunted down and turned into soup? Found a clean, cheap renewable energy source?

No. I haven't.

Maybe you're saying to yourself, 'Anna, those are very lofty goals. Maybe you need to be more realistic. Find smaller goals that you can accomplish within a reasonable time frame.'

Okay. How's this:

Have I seen the hot neighbor sans vetements yet? No, but I'm halfway there. Can I use a ruler to accurately measure things? Apparently I can only get two sides done, the third is a crap shoot. This is the email I got in response to my measurements earlier today:

"Can I check the 3.5 inches? That seems really small."

Yes, it is indeed really small. Really, really small. Be my guest.


BWAAA HAA HAAAAAA

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