Immersing Yourself in All Aspects of the Situation

The great thing about living in the South is sleeping with your windows open. Well, except in the winter, and the summer too, when it gets down to 95 with 98% humidity, but otherwise it's quite lovely to lie in your bed with the windows open.

It often causes a body to become introspective of sorts. That is until introspection becomes an abutment on the highway of self pity travelling to the city of self loathing.

Sooo, you watch TV. Do you know that I feel guilty about getting rid of my old clunky tv (that still works) for a newer skinnier model? I can totally justify it. I simply do not have room for the old clunky one. . .but alas. It's still here, in a chair, in the middle of my room because I don't have anything to put it on, because it's old and clunky.

But I digress.

I was watching Sex and the City and got tired of that because really, they put SJP in some crazy getups. I mean some of them are awesome, but she for serious had a bedazzled fanny pack on, at which point I physically said 'No more.' out loud and cut off the DVD player. Whereupon I found the late night self help guru.

Whose instructions are 'to immerse yourself in all aspects of the situation.' Sure thing gramps. Why don't you immerse yourself back into your prune juice and let me know if you want to be in all aspects of that situation? It sounds unnessecary to me. Doesn't he understand that immersing myself in all aspects of my situation is the reason why I turned on the dad-blamedt TV to begin with? I was so looking forward to not thinking about my inadequacies to do differential equations and derive permeability equations with respect to time, and also not thinking about having my motivation to work harder at the gym show up mid-workout and make me feel like shit even harder because I was finally gung-ho about half-assing it, and definitely not thinking about immersing myself in the half-eaten, hidden situation of Doritos that my bff has in the cabinet in the kitchen, which is a whole 10 ft away from my head, that I physically have to restrain myself from ravaging.

Seriously, this is why I drink. So I can avoid the aspects of my situation and immerse myself into the bottom of the gin bottle. It's not that I drink to forget; I drink so I can avoid all the aspects of my situation. And if I happen to be having a particularly happy situation with which I would like to be immersed. . .What's a little vodka besides a handy lubricant into that roiling vat of aspects?