Attention Monkeys,
Yoo hoo! Over here. Lookie, it's a banana. Do you want the banana? Look, here. Here!
Damnit! You people really are monkeys. Quit picking your god-blessed nose!
Listen I got an email from the matriarch of your living group (I'm not sure what a group of monkeys are called. Geese congegrate in gaggles and Rhinos hang in out crashes but Monkeys?) saying that my last bus pass purchase was not debited from my pay check last month. For some reason,
Could you put down the toy car? Please? I'm talking here.
She seems to think that it should be compounded with this month's purchase and debited twice from this month's check. I'm not sure why the burden of your office to not do a satisfactory job lies on my head.
Do not climb on my head. Do not do it! Don't do it! NO!
As I was saying, I came over and filled out my paperwork correctly and accurately. I think that when I signed the form authorizing the payroll debit that it was assumed that the debit would be in a timely manner, and now that timely manner has passed. So, I do not feel as it is my responsibility to pay the past due debit. Yes, I do have my receipt and it indicates a pass for the month of September and that the debit will come out of the September pay check, which it did not. Need I remind you?
Did you just hurl poop at me? Bitch! (Why am I arguing with a monkey?)
Just try and listen. Look, over here. Back over here. Yes that's a happy monkey. No, not that happy. Quit spanking Bob.
You know what? Nevermind. I'm leaving. Do what you want. You're going to anyway. That's why they established a gang of monkeys in the Parking Operations office. So that no one has any recourse in the pursuit of their complaints.
Do me a favor will you? Do you think you could talk to the warthogs over in library sciences about my fines?
Sincerely,
Anna, The Small & Docile Reptile Hunter, Gray
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