Anna Gray Feels Sorry for Boys

The transition from teenager to adult is a rough time for everybody. Some of us are lucky enough to ease gradually into adulthood and transition well. Those of us with vaginas.

Girls are groomed to be adults our entire lives. We play with dolls and in miniature versions of vinyl-sided houses complete with shutters. We watch our Mom with admiration and strut around in her clothes in a hurry to grow up. Even those of us that were awkward and wore skater jeans and t-shirts fell into the woman mold easily enough.

Boys on the other hand, not so much. Granted I guess you could argue that they never really grow up. Motorcycles, speed boats, and giant tv's become the play things of grown men but they're still very much toys. 'Big Boy Toys' and all.

Think about a boy you know, or knew, when he was 20. How he was so confident in his manhood but still sat on the bus talking about video games. Some of them grow out of it, thankfully. These men become sex symbols and send women into apoplectic fits. Thank you Don Draper. But those that don't, still they're awkward. Women spend their entire adult lives searching for an adult and rarely if ever do we find one. We find boys in men's bodies that still play video games and are just awkward. There really is no other way to describe it. Awkward. So much so sometimes you just stand and watch. It's like a train wreck. There's so much carnage but you just can't look away. They flounder and fall and tumble and teeter their way into adulthood. Even the ones that are successful are often socially inept and backward. They stand around in dad jeans and windbreakers and guffaw at their friend's tawdry jokes that haven't been funny since 1992.

I can't begin to imagine why there are so many of them like this. I'm not a man; I don't know. I imagine it has something to do with not maintaining a self-questioning, self-doubting, self-critical constant dialogue with yourself that has been drilled into who you are since you were able to toddle about on two feet.

Don't take this the wrong way. Men, you're what you are for a reason. I doubt it's going to change anytime soon. I'm just saying that after spending the last 8 years on college campuses I've noticed a trend. I'm sorry you don't transition better than you do. And I feel a little bit sorry for you in that regard.