1. Learn about the bus and where it is going before you get on. That is why they waste all that paper on brochures that only end up littering the ground at the bus station. I'm sure they have some inside; it has to be where they come from. The time to inquire is not when there are 14 people behind you in line. If you must ask a question, ask 1 question. Not 37! Shut up, and get the Fuck on the bus.
2. Consequently, don't argue with the bus driver. He knows where the bus is going as he is one DRIVING THE BUS TO WHEREVER IT IS GOING.
3. If the bus costs $2. Please don't pay in nickels. That's 40 coins. I'm not kidding, the man in front of me today on the bus paid in nickels. Trade ten of them for 2 quarters or something. Shit. We don't have that kind of time. Do you know how long it takes to put 40 nickels in the change thing on the bus? 1 minute and 12 seconds. (Yes, I timed him and yes, he dropped 3 of them and had to bend over and pick them up.) Just hurry up and get on the bus.
4. Do not holler at your homeboy across the bus station from in line. Because then you hold up the line yelling 'Huh?' and 'What you said bro?' Call him on your cellular telephone. I know you have one because you put the person on the other end of the phone call you're currently having on hold so you could speak to your other friend, across the bus station. Shut up and get on the bus!
5. Finally please just shut up and get the fuck on the bus! We're on a time schedule here. Some of us have to get home and tie one on early so we can deal with the tragedy of our holiday get togethers!
Thank you and thanks for riding.
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