Yuppers. I flashed a guy at Target. It is officially summer.
It totally wasn't my fault though. It was Memorial Day and I'm reasonably sure that it was the first drunken weekend of debauchery out of many that will occur this summer. I forget why we went to Target but I reveled in my ability to wear a dress sans underoos because it was the first day of summer! Yay hot North Carolina summers. Half of the female population in the South run around without underwear in the summer. Probably more than that but I digress.
With my totally cute new sundress (Thanks Sass.) I also wore my cute sandals because I was being extra girly that day and I had spent the entirety of the day at the pool and I NEEDED to show off my bangin' tan.
So I'm doing my flouncy girl thing and flouncing around Target trying to be cute and sassy and then WAM! I stub my pinky toe on the mother fucking cart and damn near rip the ENTIRE toenail off.
If you have never done this I encourage you to obtain the closest steak knife and repeatedly stab yourself in the face and then pour salt in the gaping wounds and hit your toe, any one really will work, with a claw hammer and then feel free to be empathetic.
My gut reaction, without thinking mind you, was to scream, actually oddly enough it wasn't an obscenity, and grab my foot and hug it. Yes, I can hug my foot to my chest while hopping up and down on the other foot. Actually I can put it behind my head but I felt that skill was a little uncalled for in the middle of Target.
So, to the preppy father of two that most likely saw my ya-ya, I apologize. Kind-of.
Does anyone know how those missed connections things on Craiglist work?
Which Target do you frequent? I might hang out there when I go to visit my brother in Virginia Beach, since I'll be almost in North Carolina.
ReplyDeleteHah! The season of inadvertent crotch shots has BEGUN!! Bruhahahaha!
ReplyDeleteYay for flashing boobies!!!
ReplyDelete@ George: It's a good 6 hours away from VA beach. And then you have to drive that long ass highway in VA that goes through the boonies and there is nothing, oh wait, that is every highway in VA. But I live in the piedmont region of NC, Winston-Salem.
ReplyDelete@ Sass: I get the feeling this may not be the last incident? Maybe we should catalog them?
@ Trash: Unfortunately said gentleman was not lucky enough tom see the ladies, he saw the 'sharktopus' as my gay BFF calls it.
*to (I can't work this blooming thing. Damn you iPad 2!)
ReplyDelete