I did a little cocaine and got a little diarrhea.

After perusing my blog stats I noticed that my number one post is still 'Does crack-cocaine actually give you diarrhea?' and the google terms that directs people to my blog the most are 'cocaine and diarrhea', 'crack diarrhea', and on and on in never-ending succession. Apparently this is a common topic and was popularized by Seth MacFarlane on Family Guy -- a show I do not watch because the only parts I find funny are when Peter smashes his toe on something and says 'Ow' for a solid 3 minutes. For some reason that cracks me the fuck up. The point being is that it seems that people are reading my blog or at least visiting it, but they're doing so only because they're googling crack-cocaine and diarrhea. Don't get me wrong, I love me some crackheads, I mean I hang out at the bus station periodically. I just wonder if maybe I'm not reaching my target audience.

Hence, I'm doing a little experiment to see if I can create an increase in my blog traffic.

Okay, so I'm not actually doing crack or cocaine or crack-cocaine as it is; I'm just doing that Ouroboros thing where the snake swallows its tail. And for you dirty minded readers no I'm not doing that. What I am doing is making a new post about cocaine and diarrhea and then I'm going to come back in a week's time and measure the percent difference in visits to my blog overall. I realize too that I could become expeditiously more eloquent in the next few days but you've read my recent posts, I'm in a slump creatively (Mostly it's because I'm obsessed and not eating right now, at least that is what I figure. And I'm too damn embarrassed to continuously write about the thing of which I cannot mention of which I ACTUALLY AM MENTIONING NOW. DAMMIT! ), so we're going to attribute any measurable amount of change in visits to the fact that I've blogged about cocaine and diarrhea. Shit, I'll even run stats on it and calculate significant difference because I care about you blog audience, I really do. If you ask me to calculate p-values and do t-tests then you're going to have to pay me because even though I can do it, that shit is kind of convoluted and I'd actually have to exert some effort and damnit my time is worth something.

So stay tuned for the results! And if I happen to run across some coke between here and next week I'll do a line and report the actual results of the query.