Country mouse v. City mouse

Here are some directions to tell if you're a city mouse or a country mouse.

Do you know what a mountain oyster is? Have you ever eaten one?

If you answered yes to either of these questions, you're a country mouse. If you said yes to the second question. . .Gross.

Do your teeth number in the single digits? Do you have teeth?

This one is difficult because it really could go either way. What? Crackheads don't have teeth and they're city mice.

Do you own a Jesus trucker hat? In pink?

If you answered in the affirmative or had to stop to think about if you did or didn't: Country mouse.

Is your idea of a fun day off the farm to get on the PART bus without any clue, Any CLUE, where it's going, therefore causing you to stand in the aisle and yammer on to the driver about what is happening and where you're going causing said bus driver to miss the FREAKING EXIT SO THAT NOW WE HAVE TO TURN AROUND AND WE'LL BE FREAKING LATE AND MISS THE NEXT BUS?

Eh, I think you get the picture.