Yes, I'm That person.

I will beat your kids in public if they're not behaving. I will reprimand random teenagers if they're being disrespectful. I will tell you how you suck at being a parent.

I'm at the doctor's office with my mother. There is a pregnant woman here with three children under the age of 6. And one on the way. Did I mention she's preggers AGAIN? The youngest, about 1, has done nothing but sob and cry continuously since they've been here. The middle one is running around the office lobby knocking things over and being a general pest and the oldest one is off somewhere getting x-rayed. I imagine this is the result of her careless and neglectful mother; she probably was off doing something dangerous while her mother stared into oblivion. Her mother, who, I might add, has not once gotten off her fat-ass to do anything about her children. I should also mention that 2 of her 3 children only have on one shoe.

I know what you're thinking, that they're probably destitute and can't afford two shoes. No. These kids all look healthy and well groomed. They're wearing nice clothes and the shoes they do have are nicer than mine. She's just lazy. I understand lazy. I am the epitomy of lazy. I can spot it from a mile off, as the crow flies. (I'm good but I am lazy. It would take much more effort to spot laziness around a curve and I'm just not willing to do that.) But I will be damned if I'm going to sit around in public while my children are running around like a bunch of rabid, stupid prairie dogs whining and crying and being destructive all whilst foaming at the mouth and snot dripping down their face. It's a matter of upholding an image. Your children are a reflection of you. Well-behaved, pleasant and polite children make people think you are well-behaved, pleasant and polite. All the while, you may be a chronic alcholic and no one would know! Well at least not until your children are old enough to begin manifesting signs of emotional abuse and binge drinking. If you think about it, it just makes good sense to make your children behave. Think of all the hitches, problems, crisises, and personalities you could keep squirreled away from the world simply by having good kids. I know from personal experience it works. And not because I have kids of my own. . .

I understand that the woman has to be tired. 3 small children and 1 on the way. She's obviously a baby factory but that's no excuse. It's one thing to be complacent and give up but couldn't she have picked a different morning? One when, I, wasn't there?