Screw you rain. Screw you.

Why is it whenever I want to do something outside, it rains?

I could react like I normally would and shake my fist at the sky and rail against the weather, but in the manner of things I cannot control, the rain is probably at the top of the list.

I cannot even get rained on like a normal person. Blessed as I am, my stomach never gets wet, unless it is especially blustery whilst precipitating. Which just makes the jaunt from one end of the bus station to the other even more eventful.

The key is to keep the aviators on. No one can touch me as long as I have the aviators on. Oddly enough, the Sheriff's department really hates them. I said 'Good Morning' to a sheriff this morning and he just sneered at me. WTF? The last ticket I got I had on the aviators. That sheriff said I was following too closely. Whatever. I'll say this in defense of that: I got convicted of 7 over the speed limit.

I never understood that because I wasn't speeding. But I wasn't following too closely either. Fucking pig.

Okay, so that's harsh. I don't really mean that. I apologize.

It's just that I'm all wet and it's cold on the bus. And I'm kind of in my cyclical emotional bristling. And all I wanted to do was go swimming. That's it. I wanted to sit on the roof in the pool and drink copious amounts of alcoholic beverages. And eat crappy food.

Look, it's Thursday. I have to work all weekend, so, shut up. It's not as if I'm a drunk. Plus plenty of people get drunk on Thursdays. Some of those people have weeks of only drinking Thursdays. My weeks have every day in them. So, I can afford to have a drinking Thursday in this one.

Maybe I'll try the chicky chicky boom boom dance to make the rain go away. That's worked the last two weddings I've done it at.

I wonder if it works if you're wet?