Friday, February 11, 2011

Anticipatory yakking done right.

Do you know what I hate? Anticipation.

Why do I hate anticipation? Mostly because it blows and makes my stomach hurt. I sit around gnashing and gnawing all the while stirring up the gastric juices in my gut and next thing you know I yakking my brains out because I'm nervous. And it's that nasty yellow bile stuff and that's even grosser so I yak again and there you have it. Puke everywhere. In technicolor.


Today at work I got an email that our vacation accrual time is increasing. Naturally I'm excited, I'm anxious to know how much extra time I'll get this year. I've got plans to actually brave the post office and get a passport this year so maybe this extra vacation time will come in handy. Even if it isn't much then maybe I can take a quick day trip to the zoo or a shopping excursion.  I go to the link and look and guess by how much my vacation accrual time increased.

I am now the proud owner of 15 minutes more vacation time this year than last.

Yes you've read correctly. 15 minutes. That is 0.25 hours. Now I can take that super long vacation I've always wanted and actually think about going! Seriously, where am I going in 15 minutes? NOWHERE. Thinking is about the only thing I can get done in 15 minutes. I might be able to walk down the hall, out of the building into to street and wave at the plane that should be carrying me to my foreign exotic vacation and still have time to make it back into the building to change my clothes from where I yakked on them. From disgust, not excitation.

The point of all this is that I'm no longer getting excited about anything. Especially vacations. 

5 comments:

  1. 0.25 hours is almost enough time to go to the bathroom in walmart.

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  2. Florida. This Summer. You. Me. The dogs. Maybe some other girls. The Dali museum. Make it happen. Think of all the junk food we can eat in the car on the way down there!!

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  3. @ Trash - This is true except I'm not sitting on those toilets so I'll have to finagle standing up and peeing without touching the sides of the stall and that will most definitely take more than 0.25 hours. But it was a nice thought. (:

    @ Sass - Count. Me. In. Bitch. I <3 you.

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  4. 15 minutes is enough time to take the longest, most glorious dump you can in an exotic location, such as the bathroom of a White Castle restaurant!

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  5. I've never been to a White Castle restaurant and with my current allotment of vacation time it doesn't seem as if I'll be going anytime soon.

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