Nevermind the fact that I have T-rex arms, you know the whole 'teeny arms that cannot support body weight' argument, but have you seen a rock climbing harness? They're hideous.
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| Look at her ass? It's like right there. |
He of course wanted to know why. So for the first time in our relationship as trainer and trainee I was painfully honest.
I told him that I was not climbing the rock wall because I was not putting on that god awful rock climbing harness. "I've seen people in these things and if you think I'm going to put my ass in that contraption and scutter up a wall for God and all of his creatures to see, you're crazy." I have a nice ass. I know this because I notice people noticing it in an admirable fashion not in a 'oh my God, that's a big ass' fashion. You can tell the difference because the former is has a subtle affirmative head nod and the latter carries an expression of widened eyes and a slightly agape mouth. But I've seen fat people at our gym in the rock climbing harness and it's less than flattering. (I tried really hard to find a picture of a fat person in a rock climbing harness and the google has failed me yet again.) This is why there are people out there that free climb. They've realized how hideous their nether parts look in a rock climbing harness and they've made the proper fashion choice and left the fucking harness at home.
He was less than pleased but I didn't climb the damn wall.
Oh, white people. WTF is up with fake walls to climb?! Jesus. And I'm with you -- that harness is goddamn ugly. Good for you.
ReplyDeleteyou do have a nice ass :)
ReplyDelete@ Sass - You know good and well you cannot do anything with white people. You can't take us anywhere. (:
ReplyDelete@ Mary - Thanks boo. (:
While hiking pilot mountain last summer i stumbled across a group of people who were rock climbing. I stopped to get a closer look ( really to catch my breath and ponder wtf did i let my son talk me into). One of the guys asked if we wanted to try it. I couldn' t help but think that being up here on this mountain in 100 degree temps hiking is about far/white as im going to please my son.
ReplyDeleteGood for You! The only thing that should happen in the 100 degree temperature with children is that they should be putting more ice in your cocktail.
ReplyDelete