The Federal Government is totally cock-blocking me.

You'll remember my new year's resolutions:

Insert the word 'mother-fucker' into my every day lexicon. Check.

Books with pictures. Kind-of-Check. I haven't read a whole lot of anything this year.

Get a passport...I'm trying.

Now you have to make an appointment to get a passport which means that I unnecessarily went to the post office, which I am afraid of, only to have them tell me that I need to come back a different day. Actually I did not talk to them, my mom did. (What? Yes I took my mother with me to the post office, I told you I was afraid.) Needless to say that I have to go back AGAIN next week.

It's not that I'm in a hurry, I'm not. The only place that I'm really anticipating going is the UK (You remember when Captain Cynical was mortally wounded, well it just so happens that said antagonist of Captain Cyncial happens to live in the UK. Because I cannot find someone to sleep with here in the contiguous 48. I have to be difficult, you've met me. Plus I kind of dig him. He only reads this blog sporadically and hopefully this won't be the week that he deigns to read it. That would be AWKWARD. But if you are reading this, 'Hey! Miss you! Hide the whiskey and cookies, company's coming over!' Jesus I am such a dweeb. ) and I'm not going there it's at least 65 degrees (Fahrenheit. Not Celsius.) for a significant period of time. The only other place that I want to go where one would require a passport it's warm all year long so no hurries there. Except for the fact that they're all on an island in the middle of the ocean and global warming seems to be ticking along at a reasonable pace so I need a passport within the next 20 years or so.

Now I have to get up the gumption and the courage to go visit the Post Office again and I know my mother will not go with me a second time. She didn't want to go the first time, something about me being 'a grown woman' and about 'how it's time to put away those childish irrational fears' and what not. Geez, whatever Mom.

I'm blaming the Federal Government for this one. It's just unnecessary.