Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Grown men should not wear culottes.

Under no circumstances is this acceptable. In any way.

If your shorts are so baggy that from half a block away they resemble culottes then you need to purchase shorts that aren't so ill-fitting.

The other fashion faux-pas that gets on my nerves is anything Ed Hardy or Christian Aud-I-Can't-Design whoever he is. It's seriously helpful though because it's an automatic douchebag label. It says:

"Hi. Although I may have decent taste in clothes and an age-appropriate fashion sense, I choose to surrender to peer pressure and bad marketing and buy these horribly tacky clothes that are over-priced and cheaply made to boot! And thankfully they make these hideous clothing items for the whole family!"

I was reading in the Harper's Bazaar the other day about trends you should abandon, and these included baby doll shirts and neon. Someone honestly thought for five minutes that neon was back? God rue the day. And baby doll shirts are just poor design choices. They're cute on the appropriate people. Those of the female persuasion aged 3 and below.

You know what's never going out of style?

Classic designs that fit and are age-appropriate. There is something to be said for self-realization. Proper fashion choices can be made by everyone by accepting an accurate perception of gender, body size and age.

You too can make proper fashion choices!

This message brought to you by your local hyper-critical fashion critic extraordinaire.

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