Today is the day of which I pay bills. It should be a joyous occasion. I can pay them all and put money into my money market account. I feel like an adult.
Except for the fact that I thought it would be a brilliant idea to stop getting paper copies. I have e-bill now (except for Piedmont Natural Gas, who can just suck it anyways.) Now I am required to remember my password, which wouldn't be so bad except each website has requirements for what your password is and what it needs to have in it and blah blah blah.
So, I once again have forgotten the password that I have for Time-Warner Cable and to get my NEW password I must know my account number.
IF I DON'T KNOW MY PASSWORD I'M REASONABLY POSITIVE THAT THE POSSIBILITY OF ME KNOWING MY ACCOUNT NUMBER IS NEGATIVE 900.
I just don't see the logic in that. And of course Duke Energy cannot get it together to actually let me use their website. They're having technical difficulties. I have half a mind to call them and tell them that I would pay my power bill but because they're stuck in the middle ages with a slow website whose javascript cannot rightly function they should credit my account because I tried. An "A" for effort so to speak. I think it's completely reasonable.
I knew I should have kept the same password for everything, which is completely dangerous. I know. Everybody I know, knows my password to my facebook, which is also the same password to pretty much everything else in my life EXCEPT FOR TIME WARNER CABLE.
What that password is, I haven't the foggiest.
Maybe I'll go back to guessing the amount of my power bill. I feel the same way about snail mail that I feel about voice mail. I hate checking it and I never do because I'm just lazy and all I ever get is shit anyways. For a while there I was just sending Duke Energy a random amount of money every month and in doing that I built up a $150 credit. I didn't have to pay my power bill for months. That was nice.
Seriously, this is ruining my day. The one thing I am OCD about is checking things off and completing a list! I have everything checked off my bills to pay list, everything, except for Duke Energy.
(Apparently, Piedmont Natural Gas has moved into the 21st century and you can now pay your bill online. And it doesn't cost you $7.95, which it does by phone, or something astronomical. You know if I would just address my fear of the post office I could purchase stamps and all this effort would not be necessary. But alas. Stamps are stupid.)
Someone also please explain to me why whenever I log-in to the Citibank website to pay my gobs and gobs of student loans, it asks me security questions. After I have logged in correctly, meaning I remembered not only my password buy my log-in moniker. Seriously? I personally believe that if someone wants to impersonate me and log into my Citibank student loan account, let them. What are they going to learn?
"Holy Hell this girl is really in debt! I hope she's doing something meaningful with her degree. It would be a shame if she was sitting in some dead-end job being a lackey for undergraduates that are a lot less intelligent than she is. That would really suck."
They might even feel sorry for me and pay some of my debt. But no one is going to do that, hence the damn post-log-in security questions are moot and a waste of my time. Because I have to think what the damn answers are. They aren't the same every time; I had to answer 8 or so different questions and they recycle these questions. And they're stupid questions too.
What's your favorite color? - Well that depends on the day of the week it is when I'm asked and how I'm feeling. I'm just as likely to say magenta as I am to respond: black, because it is symbolic of the bottomless pit of debt that I currently reside in and will never make it out of. Honestly, that's a lot to remember for an answer to security questions.
What was your favorite subject in school? - I cannot say naptime. Even though it may be true, and yes I had scheduled naptimes on into college. One day I may not remember my favorite subject in school and I'll have to call them and ask them and the operator will look it up and see that my favorite subject was naptime and then I have to do a whole charade of back-pedaling because I don't want to seem lazy and unmotivated. She'll probably have some internal dialogue similar to: "No wonder she's so in debt. She must have been in college for 13 years. Maybe if her favorite subject had been biology or business instead of naptime, she wouldn't be so in debt."
(For the record I was only at Wake for the obligatory 4 years. I finished on time. Heaven forbid it did take me longer, instead of blogging I would begging. At the corner. For potted meat or something else disgusting, but insanely cheap.)
Needless to say they need to hurry up with that whole iris-recognition software. That way all I have to do is lick my computer screen or at the very least look at it or something and they can verify who I am and all of this password remembering business will become pointless. Until then, I suppose I could just call Duke Energy.
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