Monday, May 17, 2010

My life would be so much easier if I wasn't a superficial bitch.

Today I was standing in Lowe's looking at paint swatches because I had nothing better to do. I find real enjoyment in looking at the paint swatches, I like the groupings of all the colors and how they're all there together and the organization. I feel the same way about crayons. I always peeled the wrappers off of my crayons and looked at the colors. The colors, the pretty colors. I swear I'm an adult. I promise. Anyway, I was looking at paint swatches and I saw the little books they have of color palettes and rooms that use those color palettes, etc and I was immediately hyper-critical of the rooms in the little books (to my credit some of them were hideous.)

I'm a snob about paint colors. This surprised me, not a whole lot but a little. I know I'm a snob about hair products and clothes and condiments (Generic condiments are sins against nature.) but paint colors? I stood there in the Lowe's an was offended by paint colors! Really? I need a reality check.

I then started thinking about other things I'm superficially hyper-critical about. These include: men, fashion choices, nationality, art, names, music/radio stations, and general life decisions. Heaven forbid you listen to Linkin Park, Evanescense (or however that stupid bitch spells it), the Goo Goo Dolls or Nickelback because I just might assault you. The same applies if you're from Canadia. Seriously, can't we just annex Canadia and force them to make us commodities and luxury goods? Like maple syrup and, well I cannot think of anything else Canadia is known for so they could also make us fun jello molds. You always could use more fun jelloed things in your life. For serious.

I spend a lot of my time being cranky that someone else is making a bad fashion choice or has a stupid face or that people actually buy those bad, really bad, attempts at modern art. It may be just a canvas of paint splatters or stripes but it still has form and balance and movement, those things make it good art, not cheap Chinese crap. I would be much happier if I would just let people be. Honestly what damage does it do to me that your hair is jacked up? And you're wearing colored argyle? Nothing really, except the assault on my visual senses but hopefully I can erase the image of disarray that you've burned into my retinas.

It goes back to the control issues. I think I'm going to write a blog entry about how tacky people are and about how great I am and it comes back around to the same issue that pervades my life and is the main hindrance in the relationships I have with people. Imagine that.

Well thats just depressing. I think I'll go curl up with the J-Crew catalog and think about chinos.

2 comments:

  1. Thinking hateful thoughts about chinos never ceases to delight me. Also! I am super judgey. EMBRACE IT.

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  2. But I looooooove chinos! But I'll take your advice about embracing the judgeyness! :D

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