I dream stupid.

I know that should probably be stupidly but it loses the effect that I'm trying to portray. That normal people have normal dreams and I have stupid ones.

Last night I had a dream about a someone; it wasn't naughty or anything. It was just them finally realizing that I'm amazing, which I am, and smart and witty and funny, all of these things I am, and hot, yup, that too. And that I'm the one they should be with.

Nevermind the fact that I do not want to be with said person romantically, it's just that it's nice to see that they're finally coming to terms with the truth. But I will say it kind of ruined my whole day; not that I've had the best of days this week but I was hoping to move forward out of the funk. It just makes you think about someone you'd decided not to think about which causes all sorts of dumb ole' questions to come up and you get to re-hash all the crabby shit that helped you make the decision not to think about them in the first place or second or tertiary place, as the case may be.

But for serious I have stupid dreams. They're always stupid.

They have three categories:

1. The violent ones.
I seem to manifest my anger in my dreams and I'm usually beating the dog-snot out of someone. Especially when I have Nyquil, then they're just disturbing. Normally the dreams consist of me giving instructions to someone and them not doing what I've instructed and I become frustrated and 'express' my anger. Say I'm at a meeting on a call and the girl across the room will not shut up. And I've asked her twice now to please be quiet. It's important that you know I was polite. Then I just get fed up, put the person on the other end on hold, walk over and grab Chatty-Cathy by her ponytail, beat her face in until I physically feel her nose break beneath my fist (for serious, I physically felt it. Creeeeeeepy.), then calmy resume my phone call.

2. The out-of-control situations.
This is pretty much the same dream over and over and over. I'm driving my car and it won't slow down and I'm speeding through traffic dodging things blah blah snore. I never die or crash but I do wake up all jacked up and freaked out, which is odd because in the dream I'm extremely calm. Or I'm riding a rollercoaster that I'm not properly tucked into and I'm flopping around in the air, which is really bad for one's back, and other such scary sucky scenarios etc.

3. The father-issues dreams.
For the longest time I had a lot of turmoil in my feelings and opinions towards and of my father; as any normal daughter of a divorce. These always manifested themselves in my dreams. I had a recurring dream for years in which my father jumped off the top of a tall building, actually it was a hospital, and I jumped after him. Years and years I had this dream and I always woke up before we hit the bottom. Then one day I finally somewhat had it out with my dad and expressed my waning opinion of him and then later that week had the same dream. Except this time, I didn't jump off after him. I watched him fall and watched him hit the ground, he didn't splat apart or anything he just hit the ground and kind of stayed there and didn't move.

I tend to lump the dreams about men into this last category because I figure in some deep chasm of my sub-conscious all I really want is my daddy to love me or something and they're really standing in the place of him or something. Or because he imprinted such bad relationship examples on me. You pick. I'm being easy to get along with today.

I almost never dream of my mother and it is rare that I have a dream that does not have at least one aspect of the above categories. I have lots and lots of #2's. I haven't had any 1's in a long time and I guess we'll lump last night in with #3.

Pretty much I think if I sat down with Freud he'd conclude that I have some serious control issues and he'd pack me up in a rubber room.

See, stupid dreams. Night night.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz