Trial By Fire - Online Dating Edition, 2: Why it is REALLY hard to date online.

This post is really just to complain about the difficulties - the actual semantic difficulties - of online dating.

If you weren't already aware, I'm a criminal. I stole my own credit card information and used it fraudulently to buy a subscribtion to a popular online dating site; it rhymes with latch dot mom. Thus my account was cancelled and disabled for a few days. Go figure. They then determined, after much proding and insisting and demanding (I became progressively crankier and nastier via email because apparently they only give out their phone number once you've been dismembered on a date with the person they've connected you with.) they decided that it wasn't that I was a nasty, yet intelligent cyber-hacker-criminal type person but that it was a technical error in their system that caused the mis-assumption of my personality and qualifications. Harumph. (Lets hope that those aren't the computers analyzing my personality, otherwise we'll really be in for a few laughs.) They have re-instated my account and given me 15 or so days free. I'm skeptical at best. I was reluctant at first but I've chosen to adjust my opinion to just skeptical.

The first day or so of my account being disabled, I'll admit I was P-I-SSED. But then I became used to the idea of failing catastrophically at something yet again. It was easy to attribute my hesitancy in online dating, Hell even normal dating, to the fact that the world had judged me and found me wanting. Hence it kicked me out of the virtual dating world. It was serendipity that said 'No Anna. Avoid that hole. You'll fall and break something. Insert sappy joke about my heart winding up broken.' (Gag me.) But we've all met me once or twice. Not only do I listen poorly but I also pretty much ignore every sign thrown my way unless I am beaten over the head with it. Which goes along with listening poorly or rather I suppose that is an example of listening poorly, or how I listen poorly. I should have taken this for the sign that it was and ran away screaming from virtual dating.

It's easier to assume that I haven't heard back from any of the people that I want to chat/talk with because my account was disabled. Easier to assume that they were all clamoring to respond and their despair at finding my account no longer existing was great and all encompassing. Easier to assume that I'm probably not as funny and charismatic as I try to be, that I don't sound contrived.

I'm funny right?

Let's face facts, blog reader. I'm not going to put in the time and energy it requires to root through hundreds of profiles and read dozens and dozens, probably dozens of hundreds, of incorrectly spelled words. Cosumal = Cozumel. Hugh = huge. God = good. That last sentence whilst true, God is Good, is actually what someone wrote while meaning to say good. Maybe he was uber-Christian and trying to be cute and/or make a point and I just missed it? I think he was Catholic. . .

Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that I'm questioning the worth and value of this whole online dating thing. I suppose I've questioned it from day one but now that they've screwed it up my confidence rate is at zero. I try to be funny and so far it's only worked on a Latino who has ethnic identity issues and a gentleman who labels himself as a 'salesman' when he really helps old people to their car at Costco.

You've got to start somewhere right?