I kind of want to go drinking with the bus driver.

When I'm bored I like to make up stories about the strangers around me and when you ride the bus for an hour and eight minutes twice a day you have plenty of time to work on hobbies.

Here are the true facts about my favorite GTA bus driver, reasons why she's my favorite really:

1. She drives the bus like I drive the Jetta. She's got places to go and people to see and she has no issues sticking her head out the window to yell at you if you're being a dumbass and pulled too far forward over the white stop line.

2. When she pulls into the terminal and opens the doors to let you out she yells 'Deuces!' No lie.

3. She totally shooed this guy off the bus because he was taking his sweet time.

Based on these facts this is the following dossier and story I decided today was her 'story'.

Her name is Jackie Velazquez because she married a Mexican PIMP; she does the slapping around in that house. She hurries her bus route up because every trip she makes she secretly is trying to beat her best time of 42:42 that she made on April 17th of last year. (Today she skipped two stops and didn't really come to a complete stop for me to get on the bus. )

She has 3 kids that whine and bug her unmercifully when she gets home to play. Which she does until Eduardo gets dinner done. They all eat together; it's important to spend quality family time. Then she sends them off to bed so she can tie up Eduardo because he's really a sick-o and is into that shit. But she figures it's a good way to get out some aggression.

Sometimes she just ties Eduardo up so she can go for a run. She wishes she could run her bus route because she wants to know how long it would take. But he usually is doubly excited when she gets back. Once or twice she forgot and left him tied up and naked overnight in the kitchen. This created an awkward scene at breakfast the next morning. Her children have since learned to not ask questions and often snicker behind Eduardo's back.

She secretly plans to go for a run one cool evening and just keep running. Her college boyfriend was from Jamaica and he begged her to move back with him a couple of years ago. She had just found out she was pregnant with Eduardo Jr., and it would been confusing for everyone involved. But she yearns for the pull of the Atlantic on her skin and the glare of the sun against the sea in her eyes and the sharp stings of the sand as she's tossed about in the surf. It wouldn't hurt if there a was a certain Jamaican man waiting for her on the beach with a Pina Colada. She normally drinks the hard stuff but with the right change in latitude she figures you'll need a change in attitude. She's not a Jimmy Buffet fan but that line has always rung true with her.

But then she would have to leave her twins. Whom she loves more than their brother. When she looks at them she realizes that maybe she can stay in this piddly town, driving a bus for a little while longer. Besides the children have to be bathed and Eduardo is already got his dander up because she's got her hair up.

Maybe she'll have an after dinner cocktail first. Maybe a pina colada.

So she makes her drink and walks out to her deck and closes her eyes and feels the breeze skip across her face cooling the heat from the setting sun and hears the neighbor yelling for his wife and for a moment, just one measly moment she's transferred to another place. She sees him and realizes he still beckons to her. But then she realizes that's just the zany neighbor.

He's set his deck on fire somehow and he's yelling for his wife to come and help.